You've been approached by another company, and offered a position that should allow a good career growth opportunity, and a moderate increase in compensation. You've analyzed, if not agonized, over the decision to leave a good (or bad) job for what could be a better one, and have accepted or decided to accept the new position. However, upon tendering your resignation, your current boss asks you to stay. This appeal is known as a counter‑offer or buy back.

 

In recent years, it seems to be the norm and almost the expected course of action. "It's almost like a part of the accepted divorce proceedings and it allows the boss to save face with his boss" explained one departing executive. "And it sometimes has to take its course. "

 

But take care not to fall into the trap or be blind‑sided to your own detriment. You should understand what's about to be cast upon you. Counter‑offers are typically made in conjunction with some form of flattery:

 

You're too valuable, and we need you.
You can't desert the team/your friends and leave them hanging (guilt trip).
We were just about to promote/raise you, and it was confidential till now!
What did they offer, why were you leaving, and what do you need to stay?
Why would you want to work for that company?
The President wants to meet with you before you make your final decision.

 

Counters usually take the form of:
1) More money
2) Promotion/more responsibility
3) Modified reporting structure
4) Promises of above or future considerations, and/or
5) Disparaging remarks about the new company or job, and/or
6) Guilt trips

 

These tempting gestures inevitably create confusion and buyer's remorse. Career changes are tough enough as it is .... leaving a comfortable job, friends, location, etc. for an unknown and challenging opportunity in which one must reprove oneself.  These anxieties frequently cloud the best of logic. But just because the new position is a little scary does not mean it's not a positive move. It is just usually more comfortable to stay.

 

Of course, we all prefer to think that we are MVP's and want to believe these manipulative gestures but beware! Accepting a counter‑offer or appeal to stay is the wrong choice to make. Think about it. If you were worth "X" yesterday, why are they suddenly willing to pay you "X + Y" today when you were not expecting a raise for some time? Further, reflect on how you felt when someone resigned from your staff.